Afraid Of Your Love
by ILoveStana1
Summary: Give it a try :) what happens if kate and rick are together but kate becomes scared. My first fanfic... I am a little bit scared about what you think. i hope you like it! xxx AmaraLovesStana1
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own castle, this is just for fun :D**

**A/N: Hi, this is my first fanfic :) I am a Netherlands girl and my English is not that good, but I hope** **you understand what I mean.**

**Afraid of your love. **

* * *

**Chapter 1- Love**

kate stood in front of the murderer. The only person who was there with kate was castle. The murderer looked at her.

"drop your gun, John" kate said.

He pointed his gun at castle, she screamed.

"Drop your gun John!"

He pointed his gun on her again. He pulled the trigger, kate fell down. Castle ran over to her, picked up her gun and shot John down.

"Kate stay with me!" he screamed.

He called 911. Kate's chest really hurts, she grabed his arm. He pushed on the shot wound.

The ambulance was there in 20 minutes. They took kate to the hospital. Castle came with her, the only thing she saw in his eyes was love.

* * *

In the hospital, she directly went into surgery. Castle called Martha, Jim, Espo and Ryan.

Jim, Martha and Alexis came to the hospital. Afther 5 hours the bullet was removed.

When kate woke up, she was in a little white room.

"Kate?" she heard someone saying.

When she tried to turn her head, she felt an enormous pain. She looked in castle's face.

"Hey, castle." She said with pain in her voice.

"How do you feel? Beside that you are shot." castle asked.

"I'm okay" she said with a little smile.

The doctor came in.

"Hi, I am doctor Veenstra." the doctor said. "I am glad you are awake kate."

"How long do I have to stay in the hospital?" kate asked.

"You have to stay here for at least a month, till your wound is health." Dr. Veenstra said.

"Can I sleep? I am really tired." kate asked.

"Sure" Dr. Veenstra said, and left.

Kate closed her eyes and directly fell asleep.

Castle looked at her, she is so cute when she is asleep...

* * *

Afther 1.5 months she was released from the hospital. She couldn't be home alone, so castle took her to his loft.

"Kate!" Alexis said, and walked to her.

She hugged Kate tightly, she didn't want to heart her.

"Hey, Alexis." Kate said with a soft voice. "Speaking still hurts a bit." she explained.

Alexis smiled at her and said "we made lunch, want some?"

Kate smiled, she felt really welcom here, she looked at castle. Castle smiled back. Again kate saw love in his eyes, she didn't know if he saw the same in her eyes.

"Sure." kate said to Alexis.

Alexis walked to the kitchen, she came back with a big plate and sandwiches. Everyone took a sandwich, kate felt happy, she felt home when castle was with her.

After lunch kate wanted to sleep. Castle's bedroom was her bedroom for a little time. He helped her unpack her bags, and put the clothes in the closet.

"castle, you didn't had to do that." kate said.

"I am sleeping in the room upstairs, there is a closet too only not such a comfortable bed." he replied with a smile.

When they were done with unpacking she took a shirt and shorts out.

"Castle, will you help me with my shirt? I can't do it alone." Kate asked and looked at him.

She could do it alone, but she just wanted castle to help her.

"Of course." castle said, and pulled her shirt over her head. "Shouldn't you do a new bandage on your wound?" he asked.

"no I am going to do that when I am awake." Kate replied.

Castle carefully put her shirt over her head.

"Do I have to help you with your shorts too?" castle asked.

"yes, if you want." she replied.

He helped her, and she laid down in his bed. She directly fell asleep. Castle walked back to the kitchen where Alexis and Martha were.

"Dad when are u going to tell her that you love her?!" Alexis almost screamed.

Kate could hear them, she wasn't really asleep.

* * *

"Alexis!" she heard castle screaming back to her.

"Dad you have to tell her soon! With her job you never know when she gets shot again! Maybe the next time she dies!" Alexis Said loudly.

"I know... But it us stupid! It is Kate, the detective! She isn't in love with me." castle's voice broke and she heard him grabbing his coat and left.

He went to the park, he was sitting on the swing. He thought about Kate, and what Alexis had said. He knows she was right and he was wrong. He knows that Kate loved him, she said ones, but they never talked about it again. Maybe they should talk about that again.

By the time he was back at his loft, Martha and Alexis were gone. He walked to his bedroom to check on Kate.

Kate looked at him and asked "Can you help me? I want to eat something."

"Sure, but first your bandage." he said and walked to the bathroom.

He came back with a box filled of bandages. He took one out and special tape. He lifted her shirt up and carefully he took of the bandage.

The wound was closed but painful. He took the new bandage and put it softly on her wound. With his fingers he took a piece of tape and he sticks it on her chest. He did that on every side of the bandage.

Kate felt loves, not one of her boyfriends was this sweet to her. She didn't know any guy who should do this.

* * *

Afther she had eaten, they watched a movie.

"Castle, I heard your conversation with Alexis... Are you really in love with me?" she asked. "

You heard it?!" castle said loudly.

He stood up and wanted to walk away, he had a weird look in his eyes. Kate grabbed his arm and stand up. It hears a lot but this... She had to know.

"Is it true?" she asked again with a soft voice

. That moment Alexis and Martha came downstairs, they heard them. They stood there watching them.

"Why are you screaming and denying!" kate asked.

"Becaus I love you... But you walked away or didn't want to talk about it!" castle said and walked towards the door, but kate grabbed his hand.

"Castle... I love you too but I thought you didn't want to talk about it..." she said softly.

He grabbed her head and kissed her.

Alexis and Martha saw it and smiled. They kissed harder, and they started to move to the bedroom. Martha said quietly to Alexis "maybe we should go shopping, we let them alone." Alexis nodded and they left.

* * *

"Rick, I can't wait any longer!" kate said.

_Did she just say rick? Wow! _

"I know we waited too long!" Rick replied.

She started to unbutton his shirt, he pulled her shirt over her head. He laid her down on the bed with him on top. He pulled out her bra and threw it away. She tried to pull down his pants, but her chest hurts. He took all his clothes off and then her clothes.

Rick touched her and Kate moaned.

"Castle pleas, I can't wait anymore!" she said loudly.

And that moment he pushed into her. She moaned loudly and he started to move. They kissed hard and Kate bit on his lip, he moaned.

"Castle! Faster!" Kate said desperate.

He speeded up and a minute later they were done. He felt down next to her and put his arms around her.

They laid there for 20 minutes without talking.

Then she asked "When did you fell in love with me?"

Castle launched "The first moment I saw you. But I knew for sure when you had to shot that man who knew more about your mother" he told her.

"And you Kate?" he asked.

"The first time I saw you, I thought you were very hot." she said with a smirk."But when my house exploded I gave up to fight against my feelings." she looked at him and he kissed her.

"I hope that i didn't hurt you..." castle said.

"What no! Ohh no you didn't." she kissed him again and stood up.

"Follow me Rick." she said with a sweet voice.

He smirked, and followed her into the bathroom. Together they stood in the shower, washing each other's hair. They kissed and touched. Again they kissed hard, and he pulled her close, and pinned her between his naked body and the wall.

"No castle, not here." Kate said.

They stopped kissing, took the towels and dried themselves. Castle kissed her hard, and pushed against the wall in the bedroom. "Gosh, you are beautiful" castle said.

And he came into her again. Faster this time. Kate felt like she was in heaven. It was nearly 3 minutes later and they were done.

* * *

Alexis and Martha came home and they found them on the couch. Kate's head was on his shoulder and she slept. Rick was writing. He heard them and put his laptop down. Carefully he lifted Kate up and carried her to the bedroom. All their clothes were spread in the room, he smiled. He laid Kate down and took all the clothes and put them in the closest.

He kissed Kate and went back to the living room. Martha looked at her son and she saw he was happy.

"So dad, how was it?" Alexis asked and walked to the kitchen with a smile on her face.

He laughed and kissed his mother on her cheek.

"I hope you didn't hurt her." Martha said.

"Ha, ha, ha... Not funny mother." he replied and walked to the bedroom.

He laid down next to her, and fell asleep.

* * *

Kate woke up, it was 7 pm and she was hungry. Rick's arm lay around her. She turned around and smiled at him.

"Dinner can wait." she thought.

She put her head in the pillow and wrapped her arm around him too. They slept for another hour and woke up. They smiled at each other. Rick stood up and walked to the other side of the bed.

Gently he took her hand and she stood up and walked with him to the kitchen. There were two plates with food. They warmed there food and went back to the bedroom. Alexis saw her father putting his arm around her, kissed her on her hair.

* * *

_That evening:_

They walked to the couch, Alexis was there too. She watched a movie. She looked up

"Hey" she said

"hey sweetheart." castle said.

"Alexis, can I talk to you?" Kate asked.

"Sure" Alexis replied and followed her.

"Are you okay with the fact that we are together?" Kate asked.

"Yes! He waited so long, he deserves it." Alexis replied.

"So, what do you think of shopping tomorrow?" Kate asked. Alexis blue eyes looked at her, she looked happy.

"Yes, I love Shopping." Alexis said.

* * *

_The next morning_

Kate woke up, she laid in Rick's arms, face to face. She felt so happy and in love. She smelled coffee and looked at the time. It was nearly to 11, shit! She should go shopping with Alexis around 11 o clock.

Quickly she got op, too fast. Her wounded hurted badly. Again she tried to get out of the bed, now she succeeded. She walked towards the kitchen where Alexis was.

"Alexis! I am so sorry!" Kate said.

Alexis looked up from her book and smiled, "It's okay, i let you sleep. I wanted to wake you. But then I saw you and dad, I didn't want to wake you up." she replied.

Kate made breakfast for herself and sat down next to Alexis.

"What are you reading?" Kate asked.

"Tess Gerritsen, she writes amazing books." Alexis said.

Kate smiled at her and stood up. "I am going to dress up, i will be back in a sec." she went to the room and opened the closet.

She dressed up and kissed rick. She walked to the bathroom and brushed her teeth, did her hair and make-up. She went back to the kitchen.

"So, are you coming?" she asked.

Alexis and Kate went to the shopping mall.

* * *

When they were back, rick was writing in his office.

"Should we surprise him with a show?" Kate whispered.

Alexis launch quietly and nodded. They walked to Alexis bedroom and took out there new clothes. They both buyed a summer dress and a pair of heels. They put it on and walked to rick.

Kate opened the door and walked in. He looked at them and he let his pen drop.

"Wow! You two are looking amazing!" he smiled.

* * *

After dinner they went into his bedroom. "Tomorrow you will be back to work right?" rick asked.

"Yes..." she replied.

"Then we should make this a special night" he smirked at her.

"But, can we keep our relationship for ourselves for a moment more?" She asked with a kiss.

They felt on the bed.

* * *

**Tell me what you think. Give me tips. Chapter 2 coming up next week. **

**Xxxxx AmaraLovesStana1**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: i don't own castle, this is just for fun.**

**Hi, this is chapter 2. I hope you like it :)**

* * *

**Afraid Of Your Love**

Chapter 2- dreams

Kate opened her eyes. She was in a little white room, with nothing in it. She walked around and found the door. Suddenly a little window in the door opened and she saw two eyes, she jumped back.

"What am i doing here?" she asked

A low voice answered; "your boyfriend dumped you, you were depressed and you tried to kill a lot of people."

The window closed again and she was alone. Than the walls came close, they were moving!

Kate screamed and ran to the door. She couldn't open it! She felt the walls on her arms, they were going to crush her.

Kate woke up sweating. The sun was shining in the bedroom, it was warm inside. She looked at rick, he was still sleeping. She looked at the clock, it was 7 am. Time to get up. She woke up rick, he looked at her. He was awake, without a word he knew there was something wrong.

"Kate, are you okay?" he asked concerned.

Kate stood up and grabbed his shirt.

"I don't want to talk about It." she replied, she walked away and the Sun shine on her hair.

"Gosh, that we're finally together!" He said with a smile and stood up.

He walked to the kitchen were Kate was making dinner. He put his arms around her waist and pulled her close. He could see a little sparkle in her eyes, were they love or scared sparkles? He didn't know.

* * *

"So, your first day at work again! What are we going to tell the guys and Lanie?" Rick asked.

"Nothing." she replied.

He could see a weird look on her face, the vein on her head was bigger. It always is when she thinks.

"Kate, what's going on? And don't say that you are okay because you're not! I can see it on your face sweetheart." He said.

"I had just a weird dream, nothing to worry about." she replied with her detective voice.

Her voice was sad, not her voice she would use when there is nothing wrong.

"Kate, you can tell me everything. Please tell me, don't walk away again!" He said.

She heard the concern in his voice but she told him she didn't want to talk about it. He saw her eyes, they were angry now but he didn't gave in.

"Castle, please! Leave it! She said walking towards the bedroom.

She grabbed some clothes and put them on. Castle was waiting for her. When she wanted to walk out the door he grabbed her hand, just like she did when they kissed.

"Kate, please can we talk about it? I don't want you to be sad." he said but she pulled her and back.

"I see you at the precinct." She replied and walked to the elevator.

"DAMN!" Castle screamed, that moment Alexis came downstairs.

"What is wrong dad?" Alexis asked.

"Ohh.. A fight with Kate." he replied and walked to the bedroom.

Alexis saw the concern glowing of his body. She hated that, the last time he was like this was when kate was into surgery. This wasn't good, she predicted.

* * *

Kate drove to the precinct, when a traffic light turned red she still crossed the road. She didn't know why that dream had that effect on her, but some of her dreams were almost like the reality sometimes.

Her phone rang. She grabbed her bag and searched. She saw a photo of her and castle. It was on a summer day. They were with the guys, Lanie, gates and them on a trip. She wore a summer dress. A yellow light dress with blue and green flowers on it. She smiled to the camera. Castle had his arm around her neck. She looked happy with him next to her side or having her back.

She came back to the real world, and she heard her phone again. Quickly she picked up.

"Beckett." she said.

"Hi boss! We got a body." Ryan said.

"Where?" she asked.

"Lanie." he replied.

"I will go to Lanie now, after that to the precinct. Bye." she said and hung up before he could ask how she felt.

She drove to Lanie, parked her car and went to Lanie.

"Hey girl!" Lanie said happy to see her again.

"Hey..." Kate replied.

"What happened girl? And don't lie to me!" Lanie said.

"I had a fight with castle." She said.

"Girl i gonna smack you!" Lanie replied looking at her.

"Go ahead" Kate said with a smile.

"You slept with him didn't you?" Lanie asked.

Kate looked at her with big eyes. "What?! No, I didn't!" she said nervous.

"Ohh please Kate! I can read it of your face! You are cute together! So stop fighting!" She said with a smile.

"So who is this?" she pointed at the body.

"Do not change the subject Kate! But okay we will talk about this later. This is Erwin Stonebridge, 26 year's old. Shot between the eyes." Lanie said. "I found some fiber of red cotton shirt."

"Thanks Lanie." Kate Replied and she walked away.

* * *

_At the precinct:_

"Hi boss!" Ryan and Espo said in union.

"How are you?" Espo asked.

"I am okay" she said but Ryan and Espo knew that wasn't the truth.

"So how was it at Castle's place?" Ryan asked and that moment Castle came in.

"Kate! We need to talk now!" Castle said and walked to the break room.

"Kate, I am sorry that i made you angry, but I am worried about you. You can tell me everything, you know that. Now we are together you need to share some problems." he blurred out.

"You... You... You are together?" Espo and Ryan stood in the door frame, looking at them. Kate saw there faces turning into a weird look.

"Yes, we are." Kate replied and kissed rick softly in front of Espo and Ryan.

"I am sorry, I just had a weird dream and you know that my dreams look like reality sometimes." Kate said.

"It's okay sweetheart. If you don't want to you don't have to. I shouldn't have pushed you. " Rick replied and kissed her softly.

They walked together out of the break room. Kate and Rick holding hands.

* * *

_that evening: _

Kate and Rick order Chinese Food, Kate's favorite. They cuddled on the couch and watched The Holiday.

"Castle, I don't want to talk about this now, maybe later okay." Kate said.

"Tell me when you want Kate." Rick replied and kissed her.

Alexis opened the door and walked to the couple. She saw them cuddling and she felt happy for them.

"Hey, dad. How was your day?" Alexis asked.

He looked up and said: "Mine was great! We talked about the fight and it is over now. How was your day?"

"My day was like all the others. I go to my room to make homework." She said and took some food of the table. She just wants to leave them alone.

* * *

_2 weeks later:_

Kate woke up by the alarm. She felt the strong arm of Castle laying around her. Suddenly she felt sick and ran towards the bathroom, she threw up. Just a few seconds later Castle stood beside her, when she had to throw up again he held her hair back. She thought of her and Castle was it true? She felt sick other times this week, was she pregnant?

"Kate are you okay?" rick asked concerned.

"Yeah I am okay, I think I ate some wrong stuff." She lied to him.

She stood up, walked to the sink and brushed her teeth. Then they walked back to the bedroom and dressed up.

"Kate, did I told you ones that you are beautiful?" Rick asked with a loving smile.

"Yeah! You did! Last night remember?"

He looked up and thought… Then he smiled at her. "I forgot, sorry!" he said with a smile and kissed her.

She felt like she was in heaven, maybe she was carrying his kid, it made her scared but with him kissing her and hugging her she felt strong. With him she was sure everything was going to be alright. They broke apart of a knock on the door.

"I don't want to interrupt you guys but it is almost 8 am and you two have to work." Martha said.

"SHIT! I have to eat in the car then." She said walking towards the kitchen.

She grabbed a sandwich and walked to the door.

"Wait for me sweetie!" Castle said.

"No, you can come late. I will tell Gates you are going to be late." She replied and kissed him again. Then she walked out of the door.

Before she went to the precinct, she stopped at a grocery store. Quickly she bought a pregnancy test and hide it in her bag. She drove to the precinct. The test in her bag.

She directly walked to Gates office.

"Rick is going to be late." She said to Gates.

Gates looked at her and said: "Okay."

Kate walked out of her office and sat down on her desk looking at the murder board. Espo and Ryan walked to her.

"Hey guys. Any new leads?" she asked.

"Nope, only he did call a woman named Clair 10 minutes before he died. She is on her way now." Espo said.

That moment Castle ran in. "Hey bro, you are late!" Espo said and walked away with Ryan behind him.

"I missed you..."" Rick whispered in Kate's ear.

Kate smiled and looked at him, "I was gone for 10 minutes." she said to him with a lovely smile.

"But I missed you. Here, your coffee." he said and gave her the coffee.

"Detective Beckett?" A voices asked.

Kate turned around, "Yes, that's me." She said to the lady behinde her.

"Hi, I am clair. I am a friend of Erwin, Is there something wrong with him?" Claire asked.

"I am afraid I have some bad news for you. Erwin was killed last night." Kate said.

"Ohh god..." Claire said in shock and had to sit down.

"I am sorry for your lost." Kate said.

* * *

They walked to a room to ask some normal questions.

"Why did Erwin called you?" Kate asked.

Claire looked at them with tears in her eyes.

"I am pregnant, it is his child. He called me to talk about us. We love each other, we decided to move in together." Claire said. "Do you know how it is to lose the dad of your unborn child? I can't live without him, I love him…" Her voice broke and she cried, she couldn't stop crying.

Kate felt terrible, she couldn't stay here any longer. "I will bring you some water." Kate said with a soft voice and walked towards the break room.

While she filled the cup with water she thought of what Claire said. If she was pregnant, how was she going to handle that? She only started a relation with Castle like a month ago and now she was pregnant. She got scared that he wouldn't accept it. Maybe…

"Are you okay boss?" Espo asked concerned.

"Yeah, I was just about to go back to Castle and Claire." She said and walked away.

Ryan walked towards Espo, "What is it?" Ryan asked.

"Something is change, she acts different. Did you see the look in her eyes? That is not the Beckett look." Espo replied.

Kate brought the water to Claire and told Castle she needed some time. She walked to Gates office and knocked on the door.

"Come in." Gates said.

Kate walked in and closed the door. Directly she asked, "Can I take the day off?"

Gates looked at her with her special 'I know there is something wrong' eyes.

"May I ask why?" Gates asked

"I prefer not, it is something private." She replied.

"Okay then, go." Gates said and Kate left her office.

Gates knew there was something wrong with Kate. The detective would never ask for a day off, they had to send her home and then there was a small change that she would go. She had seen the weird look in her eyes, a scared look.

* * *

Kate directly went to the bedroom, she pulled out her suitcase and threw it on the bed. She opened the zipper, pulled all her clothes out of the closet and smacked them in the suitcase. Then she thought of the test in her bag. She grabbed it and ran to the toilet. She was scared, scared to see the results. It was positive, she almost fell. She put the test on the sink and walked back to the bedroom. Closed the suitcase and walked out of his loft.

She drove and drove but didn't know where to go. She looked out of the windows, she saw a forest, and much grass. Then she knew where to go. the vacation house of her dad.

Castle came home when he heard Kate took the rest of the day off.

"Kate!" He said "Are you home?" there was no reaction.

He looked in every room, she wasn't there. He called her but she didn't pick up. At last he went to the bathroom. He saw the test on the sink, positive…

* * *

**Sorry for the bad English :l**

**So, what do you think? Let me know! Next chapter will be uploaded on Wednesday.**

**Xoxo AmaraLovesStana1 **


	3. Chapter 3

**So, a new chapter. I uploaded it earlier because I finished it already **** I hope you like it! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, this is just for fun.**

* * *

**Afraid Of Your love**

Chapter 3 – I found you

Kate parked her car in front of the house. She saw the sun shining throw the threes, she remembered all the holidays she had here. Once she was a little kid, playing with her mom on the swings. The sun was shining in the little garden just like it did now. She stepped out of the car and grabbed her suitcase out of the trunk. She stood there for like 5 minutes before walking towards the door. She looked at the house, it was sad that they forgot this house. All those memories about her mom, the happy moments when they played a game in the little living room. She puts her bag in the bedroom and went outside, she walked throw the garden. The grass was long and the trees were bigger than she remembered. She walked towards the swings, carefully she sat down. She let her head fell against the rope. She thought about Castle, her pregnancy.

"Kate?" she heard a voice calling her name.

She looked up and searched around for the person who called her name. And there she was.

"Hanna!?"Kate said surprised. "I didn't know you were here!"

"Ohhh, Kate I missed you!" Hanna screamed exited.

Kate walked towards the gate, it was old and it made weird sounds when she opened it, she walked into the garden of Hanna's house. She looked at her with big eyes. Her stomach was enormous!

"Hanna, are u pregnant?" She asked, still looking at her stomach.

"Yes.", she said with a sad voice, she walked to Kate and hugged her.

"Aren't you happy with it?" Kate asked when she saw Hanna's face and heard her voice.

"No, the dad left me when he heard I was pregnant." Hanna told her. "But why are you here? You only come here when there is something wrong or there is something on you mind.

"I. It is just…" Kate couldn't say the word 'pregnant'.

"Yes?" Hanna asked curious, helping Kate to find the right words.

"I am pregnant too…" She said.

"WHAT! Kate that is awesome!" Hanna screamed and took her hand. "Maybe not so awesome…" She said when she saw Kate's face,

They went together to the living room of Hanna's house.

"Do you want something to drink?" Hanna asked.

"Yes, just some water please." Kate replied.

Hanna walked away to the kitchen. Kate looked at the little living room, she was in this house every summer when she was just a little kid. Hanna, her best friend then, knocked at the door of their house to take little Kate with her. They played for hours in this living room. Sometimes with a dolls, sometimes whit their stuff animals. Her animal was a little horse, called: Bo. The animal of Hanna was a frog, called: Sintel. She remembered all these little details, she smiled looking at everything.

Hanna came back with two glasses of water.

"So, why isn't it awesome that YOU are pregnant Kate?" Hanna asked while she gave her the glass of water.

"Do you know the author Richard Castle?" Kate asked while she was drinking some water.

"Yes, of course he is my favorite author. But why does that matter?" Hanna replied.

"He is the father. I worked with him for 4 years and we were both in love with each other, but we were too scared to admit it. And a month ago I was shot, he was there with me. After I was relived from the hospital I had to stay at his place. Then I heard Alexis and him talking about he was in love with me. I asked it and he said yes. So you know what comes next and…"

"STOP!" Hanna screamed. "You worked with Richard Castle? You slept with Richard Castle? You are friends with Richard Castle? You are pregnant of Richard Castle?" she asked in one breath.

"Yes…" Kate said softly with tears in her eyes.

"Why aren't you happy? I can see that you love him Kate, there is a glow shining around you. I know that glow, I had the same with the father of my baby." She said.

Kate started to cry. Hanna walked towards her and put her arms around her old friend.

"Do you remember the time you came running to our house. Some stupid kid threw stones at you, he hit you on your head. You came crying in our living room. We sat on this couch just like we do now. You were just such a cute kid." Hanna said with a smile, the Hanna smile when she was happy.

"And when I saw him again I threw a stone at him. He ran crying away to his 'mommy'." Kate said laughing.

"Ohh, your mom was angry Kate! But she understood, you were a different girl. Not like the normal kids. You didn't take no for an answer." Hanna replied laughing. "I am sure your mother is proud of you Kate, she was special just like you."

Than Kate's phone rang. She picked up.

"Kate!? Where are you?! How dare you leaving town without telling me anything!" She heard Lanie screaming at her.

"Easy Lanie! I just need some time for myself. And I am not going to tell you where I am because then I am not alone anymore." Kate replied, looking at Hanna. Then she hung up.

"Come." Hanna said.

* * *

They walked away towards the little restaurant in the beginning of the park. It was an old building, made of brown wood. She remembered everything about this place. They went to the little table in the corner and sat down.

"This was our table." Hanna said smiling at Kate.

Kate kneeled down.

"It is still here! Our names!" Kate said laughing.

Hanna kneeled down next to her. She had missed Kate, the girl talks they had. She saw the names graved in the wood with the pocket knife of Jim. Hanna put her arm around Kate's shoulders.

"I missed you Kate Plate." Hanna said softly.

"HE! You promised to never call me Kate Plate again!" Kate said and punched Hanna friendly on her arm.

They laughed and sat down on the chairs. The waiter came towards the table.

"Kate?" The old man asked.

"Jack?" Kate asked surprised.

"Kate!" Jack said while Kate stood up and hugged the old man.

"You are still working here?" Kate asked.

"Yes, this is my home. Why are you back? I didn't see you in like, 4 years?" Jack said smiling at Kate.

"I am an homicide detective now, I don't have much time to visit this place anymore." Kate replied.'

The old man looked at the girls. "It is good to have you back Kate." He said. "So, what can I bring my girls?" He asked.

"Some tea with a salad please." Hanna said.

Jack looked at Kate. She saw the old man's face. She likes Jack. He was the babysitter when they were playing at the playground in front of the restaurant.

"The same as Hanna." She smiled at Jack when he walked away to get the food and drinks.

That night she laid in bed, she couldn't sleep. She missed the strong arms of Castle around her. She wanted to feel his warmth, his breath against her hair. She just wanted him next to her. She started to cry, she missed her mother, she missed Castle. This house brought all those memories with it. The time she couldn't sleep, she went to her mother and father, to this bedroom. She had curled up between them with her mother's arm around her, just like Castle does.

She couldn't stop crying. It was after 4 am, she looked around in the room. The paintings on the wall. The one she made for her mother. There were 3 peoples on it. One little kid, that was Kate. Two big grownups, her mother and father. They on a hill, the sun shining on them. Flowers in every color of the rainbow. Butterflies everywhere. Then she fell asleep.

* * *

When Alexis came home her dad was sitting on the couch with a glass of wine, the bottle was already empty. Wasn't that the bottle he had bought last night?

"Dad? What's wrong?" She asked concerned.

"Kate, she is gone." He said.

Alexis heard the pain in his voice. "Dad, where is Kate?" The moment she asked she saw a little box on the table. She walked towards the table and grabbed it. There it was, a pregnancy test. It was positive. "K…Kate is pregnant?" She asked in shock.

"Yes… I should go to bed." Castle said and walked away.

Alexis watched him, she saw his face. He was hurt again. And again it was Kate's fault!

She grabbed her phone out of her purse.

"Hello…" Lanie said into the phone.

"Where is Kate!" Alexis asked angry.

"Alexis? Sweetie Kate needs some time for herself, I called her but she turned off her phone." Lanie replied.

"You know why she is gone?" Alexis asked, still angry about the fact Kate left.

"No, I didn't…" Lanie said but she couldn't finish her sentence.

"She is pregnant Lanie! It is important to know where she is! Dad is drunk right now!" Alexis screamed crying into the phone. She missed Kate already.

"Sweetheart, I don't know where she is. You should call Jim, I think he has some ideas." Lanie said in shock.

Alexis hung up and directly called Jim.

"Jim Beckett." She heard him saying.

"Hi, this is Alexis. Do you know where Kate is?" She asked.

"Kate?" Jim asked. "No I don't know where she is. Isn't she at your place?" Jim asked concerned.

"No, she is gone. Call me when you have any ideas where she can stay." Alexis hung up again and turned off her phone.

She didn't want to talk to anybody right now, she walked towards her room. She went to her bed, laid down. She fell in a restless sleep.

* * *

The next morning Alexis woke up of her father. He was sitting on her bed, playing with her long red hair. The sun was already up so it had to be after 10.

"Dad I…"

"I called your school, you don't have to go to school today sweetheart." He said quickly.

Alexis looked at her father. "How much did you drink last night?"

"2 glasses, I wasn't drunk." He replied her question.

Then the phone rang. Alexis stood up and ran towards the phone.

'Jim Beckett' Was the name on the screen.

Quickly she picked up. "Alexis." She said.

"Alexis hey, I have an idea where Kate could be. We had a little vacation house in the forest. Should I come to your house to pick up you and your father?" He said.

"Yes!" She replied.

"I am there in 20 minutes." He said and hung up.

"Dad, go and dress up. Jim had an idea where Kate could be, he is here in 20 minutes." She said and walked towards her room.

They waited for Jim and Castle asked "Where?"

Alexis looked at him and answered "In their holiday house."

Then the doorbell rang. Castle and Alexis stood up and walked towards the door. Jim stood in front of them, without a word the all went to the elevator. The elevator he kissed Kate ones.

They drove for 2 hours already, Castle didn't know where they were going.

"We are almost here." Jim said.

The sun was shining on the car. Castle looked at a big forest ahead of them. Maybe it was in that forest. Jim drove into the forest, they passed a little restaurant. It looked romantic. They drove father in the forest. They stopped in front of two little houses made of wood.

"It is number 11" Jim said.

Castle went out of the car. He looked at the house and smiled. It was a house that would be great to spend your holiday in.

"We should leave him alone" Jim said softly and looked at Alexis. Alexis nodded and they drove away, back to the restaurant.

* * *

Castle knocked at the door, no answer. He knocked again. This time he heard footsteps, he heard a key turning around in the lock. The door went open with a little sound. There she was. Her eyes red of crying, her face tired of no sleep.

"Castle, I…" She tried to explain but he grabbed her head and kissed her hard.

Hanna stood in her garden looking at them, she smiled and walked back towards her house and went in.

Castle pushed her into the house, they were still kissing.

"Why did you run?" He asked, that wasn't necessary.

"I was afraid of your love, I was afraid you wouldn't accept the fact that I was pregnant. We only dated for one month and now I am already pregnant. You heard Claire, how it is without the father of your kid, how it is without the man you love." She cried in his arms.

"Shhhh, Kate. It is okay, I understand. But I am not angry, I love to become a dad again. And you are the perfect woman. I love you Kate." He said and he kissed her again.

There was a knock on the door, Kate opened the door and saw Alexis and her dad standing in front of her. Alexis hugged her tight. Then Kate saw Hanna.

"Hanna! Come!" She screamed.

"Hanna?" Jim asked, "She is here too?"

Hanna came towards them and hugged Jim. "Hi Jim." Hanna said.

He looked at her stomach. "You are pregnant?"

"Yes, I am." She said.

That moment Castle came outside too. Hanna looked at him.

"So, you are the famous author and boyfriend of Kate?" She said with a smile.

"Yes I am." He replied.

* * *

_That evening: _

They all sat down in the restaurant and ordered some food. Castle had his arm around Kate. She looked up at him and kissed him. She felt alive again with him by her side. They kissed again. Their food was ready and they started to eat.

* * *

**So, what do you think? There I no love parts this time, I have a little fight with my 'muse' about the story. I hope when she reads this we will be ok. **

**Xoxo AmaraLovesStana1**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Here is chapter 4! I want to thank Nessa for some ideas! And of course my Caskett fangirl group! Love you all! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, this is just for fun.**

* * *

**Afraid Of Your Love **

Chapter 4 – Accept end love

After dinner they all went back to the houses. They walked the route which Kate had walked every single time they went to the restaurant.

"What do you think of the idea that Alexis and Jim going to my house so you and Castle can be alone." Hanna asked Kate with a grin.

"We should ask them. And please don't look at me like that!" Kate laughed, and turned around.

"Guy, Hanna has a great idea! Hanna talk!" Kate said still laughing.

"I would like to ask Alexis and Jim to sleep in my house so Kate and Castle could be alone to talk about everything what is going on right now." Hanna said.

"Sure" Alexis replied and Jim just nodded.

Castle walked over to Kate and took her hand. "There are swings, want to go?" He whispered in her ear.

"Kate turned around and kissed him. "Of course." She said and kissed him again.

Together they walked to the swings leaving Hanna, Alexis and Jim smiling behind. Kate and Rick sat down on the swings and he started to talk.

"You know, I love the idea of you being pregnant." He said.

Her reaction was only a big smile and a kiss.

"When I was a little kid I came here with Hanna. We played with our dolls like they were our kids. I knew I wanted a kid when I was a grownup, but I never thought I would get one with you." She kissed him again.

"Is it weird to get a kid of me?" Castle replied.

"No, it is just that I thought that I would get a kid of some normal guy. A man with a good job and we would live in a house close to the beach." She said staring at a tree.

"I am a normal guy, with a normal job and the best part I have a beach house!" He smiled at her, he couldn't stop smiling when he saw Kate.

"No Rick, it is just that you are different than all the other boyfriends I had. But I like different. I think that was something that I love about you." She said and looked back at him.

He took her hand and pressed a kiss on it. "I love you Kate, I will always do."

Hand in hand they walked back to the house. She looked at everything, all those memories they had made her with her mother and dad. There rolled a tear down her cheek. Rick wiped it off and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

"All those memories I made here, with my mother and father. They come back now, and the best of all is that I make new memories here with you." Kate replied while she kissed him.

Rick looked at his girlfriend, she was so beautiful.

* * *

When they were back at her house Jim, Alexis and Hanna where buzzy with making a place to sleep in the house of Hanna.

"Go to your own home!" Hanna said with a 'you know what I mean' smile.

Rick took her hand and walked to her house.

"I am sorry for Hanna, she is such a baby sometimes." She said.

"No, she is right." He said and kissed her hard.

He pushed her towards the bedroom, their clothes were falling on the ground. He opened the door and lifted her up. Kissing and touching he laid her down on the bed. Gosh, she loved him so much.

"I would never leave again..." She said but Rick kissed her again.

It was over 10 pm when they were done. Rick knew they were at home around 8 pm. He smiled as she laid her head on his chest. He looked at her, the blanket was ripped off the bed so they laid naked on the bed.

"Don't stare Rick." Kate said sleepy. "It is creepy."

"I'm sorry." He replied with a kiss.

Ten minutes later Kate was asleep in his arms. He was happy, why hurt the other guys her? Not that he mind it, if they hadn't she wasn't sleeping in his arms now. But why? She was worth to die for. He thought and fell asleep with his strong arm around her.

* * *

_The next morning:_

When Kate woke up Rick was in the kitchen. He was making breakfast. She looked at his strong arm, his beautiful chest, she all touched it last night. She still couldn't believe that he was her boyfriend. She saw her mother in the kitchen, reading his book while she was cooking. She picture on the back of the book. But now it wasn't a photo, now it was him personally.

She walked towards him and kissed him.

"What are you making for me?" She asked. She loved the way he smacked an egg and put it in a bowl.

"There is a bowl of cherries and now I am making an omelet with bacon for you." He replied and kissed her.

"You are the best." She said and pulled him in for a long, slow kiss.

He gave her a plate with bacon, eggs and some cherries. Together they walked to the garden. They sat down in the sun to eat their breakfast.

Jim watched them throw the window. He liked Castle but it was weird to see them together. Kate was laughing about something he said.

"Let them Jim, they are happy." Alexis said.

That moment Kate looked up to him and saw Jim standing in front of the window.

"I need to tell him that I am pregnant." She said and stood up.

Rick grabbed her hand and walked with her to Hanna's house. Hanna opened the door when she saw the couple walking towards the door.

"Good morning!" Hanna said with a knowing smile of what happened the other night. "Almost two hours long! You really love each other huh!" Hanna said and Kate turned red.

"Hanna! Please!" Kate said embarrassed, Rick laughed. He kissed her and they walked towards Jim.

"Dad? We need to talk." Kate said a little scared. "Ohh, Alexis we need to talk too."

"No we don't, she already knows." Rick said. "When you were gone she saw the test."

"Katie? Are you pregnant?" Jim asked.

"Yes dad, and yes it is from Rick." She said and kissed him.

"That is great!" Jim replied and walked towards them and hugged Kate, he hugged Rick with a big man-hug.

"Can we go home?" Kate asked, "I need to tell Lanie and the guys. And I want to make an appointment."

"Sure, if everyone is okay with that?" Rick replied and looked at the company.

Everyone nodded only Hanna looked away.

"Hanna, you can stay in at my place!" Kate said happy, she really hope she would say yes.

"Are you sure?" Hanna asked shy.

"Of course I am! I want to have you close by this time. I don't want to break up the contact again." Kate said as happy as she could be.

"This is amazing! I am finally with Rick, I am pregnant and one of my best friends is staying at my place!" Kate said with tears in her eyes. "Stupid hormones!" She said when she started to cry.

"I know how you feel Kate plate!" Hanna said laughing.

* * *

_That evening: _

Everyone was home by dinner time. She told Hanna where everything was so she could go her own way now.

"We didn't tell Martha yet, where is she by the way?" Kate asked.

"She had something with her students so she was sleeping on her school that night. She would come home in an hour." Just then the door went open and Martha came inside.

"Kate sweetheart! You are still here?" Martha said happy to see her again.

"Hi Martha!" Kate said and hugged the woman.

"Mom, we need to talk." Rick said when he hugged his mother.

"Is there something wrong?" Martha asked concerned.

"Ohh, no! Kate is just pregnant!" Rick said happy and laid his hand on Kate's stomach.

He felt her stomach going up and down when she was breathing, he felt her navel. She had a funny navel.

"Ohw… That is great!" Martha said. "So I am going to be a grandmother again!

That moment Kate felt sick and ran towards the bathroom, with Rick on her heels. She bowed down above the toilet, and she threw up. Rick was holding her hair back, with his hand rubbing her back.

"I am sorry, it is the stupid morning sickness." Kate said and stood up to brush her teeth.

"It is okay sweetie, you can't help it." He said while he touched her brown curls. "I love your curls."

Kate smiled at him, her mouth covered with toothpaste. She rinsed her mouth, but in the corner of her moth was some left. Gently he wiped it off with his thumb. She took his hand and pressed a kiss on it.

"I love you Kate." He said and kissed her.

Suddenly her phone rang. They broke apart, and she took up her phone.

"Girl! We need to talk now!" Lanie screamed in the phone.

"Please Lanie, I can heard you. Where should we meet?" Kate asked.

"My place in twenty minutes." Lanie said and hung up.

"Who was that?" Rick asked with his hands around her waist.

"Lanie, I need to go to her place. She sounded angry." Kate replied and walked towards the living room.

"I will be back at 11, if she don't kill me." Kate said with a smile and pulled Rick in for a long, passionately kiss. "Bye!"

She knocked on Lanie's door, and was a little scared about the reaction of her best friend.

The door flew open and there was Lanie, she grabbed her and pulled her inside.

"Why didn't you tell me? You are pregnant! Of Rick!" Lanie screamed.

"Lanie! Please let me explain! I found out that I was pregnant like 3 days ago, I was scare because the girlfriend of our victim was pregnant too and she told me things. That scared me and the fact that Rick and I are only for one month together. I am sorry Lanie, I didn't meant to hurt you." Kate said almost crying.

"Ohh Kate! I am not angry! Ohh please don't cry!" Lanie said and hugged her. "I understand you girl. But please call me with that kind of problems, I don't want to hear the news from Alexis again."

Kate cried again and hugged Lanie, "I am so sorry Lanie."

Lanie took her to the couch and put a movie on. She went to the kitchen and took a bowl of strawberries and some tea. She went back but Kate wasn't there.

"Kate?!" Lanie asked loudly.

"I am in the bathroom!" Kate replied

Lanie knew why she was in the bathroom and walked to her friend.

"I am so sorry Lanie…" Kate said with a sad voice.

"Girl, it is okay. You can't help it sweetie." Lanie said and she rubbed her back.

"Come on, let's go watch the movie." Lanie said and they walked back together.

Kate watched her friend walking towards the kitchen to get a mint for her. She loves her friends. She is always there when she needs her. Just like Hanna did when she was younger. She loved them, she couldn't live without them.

Lanie came back with a mint for her, she gave it and kissed Kate on her forehead.

The door opened and Espo walked in.

"Hey, sweetie." He said. "Ohh.. I am sorry. Kate you are back! Where were you?"

"Hi Espo, is it okay if I tell you and Ryan when I am ready okay?" Kate said and Espo saw her red eyes.

"Sure, I will leave the two of you alone." He said and walked away.

"I am sorry Kate, I gave him a key to my apartment so I he comes in when he wants." Lanie explained.

"It is okay, I have to tell him sooner or later." Kate said.

_Back at Rick's loft: _

Kate knocked on the door. Directly Rick opened it.

"He sweetheart." He said, he saw her red eyes. "He? What is wrong?"

"Nothing, just those stupid hormones. I cry about everything right now." She replied and kissed him.

"It is late, we should go to bed." Rick said and took her hand.

"Sure, I would love to I am exhausted." Kate replied and walked towards the bedroom.

She took her clothes off and Rick looked at her perfect body. He still couldn't believe she was **his** girlfriend.

"Rick! Staring is creepy!" Kate said and laughed.

* * *

_The next morning: _

By the time Kate woke up, Rick was gone. The blanket was still warm so he wasn't gone for long. When she lifted her head of the pillow she saw a little note on the night stand.

_Kate,_

_I am at the supermarket for some food and drinks. Be back in an hour._

_Love, Rick_

She smiled when she how he wrote _Love, Rick_.

She stood up and walked towards the living room. It was quiet in the hose, she heard nothing. 'Time for some music!' she thought. She put her phone on the speakers and played her favorite song. "Mine to love". She listened to the texts.

_**You upset me with your kindness.**_

_**You upset me with your smile. **_

_**You cracked my heart wide open,**_

_**And I felt alive for a little while.**_

_**You were mine.**_

_**Mine to hold.**_

_**In the rain,**_

_**Out in the cold.**_

_**Whit a stolen cup of coffee,**_

_**At a place that no one knows.**_

_**You were mine.**_

_**Just enough**_.

She loves the song! She was singing softly when Alexis came down.

"Wow Kate! Your voice is amazing!" Alexis said.

Kate turned around with her head as red as an tomato. "Did I wake you up with the music?"

"No you didn't. Dad listens to music every morning." She said with a smile. "Where is he by the way?"

"He is at the supermarket, I think there is no food anymore." Kate replied smiling back at her.

"Now he is gone… can I talk to you?" Alexis asked a little embarrassed.

"Sure!" Kate replied happy.

"Now you are pregnant, are you just here because of that?" Alexis asked and now was it her turn to turn red.

"Ohh! No, I love your dad. Just like Vera said in one of our cases, 'He is the cream in my coffee'." She replied and hugged the girl. "And I love you too." She said softly.

"You do?" Alexis asked surprised.

"Yes." Kate said and kissed Alexis on her head.

Rick had heard everything, he was standing in front of the door and didn't want to interrupt the girl talk. He had tears in his eyes, his amazing girlfriend loved his daughter! He loves her so much. He felt a tear falling town his cheek, quickly he wiped it away and opened the door.

"Breakfast!" He screamed the moment he walked in.

Kate walked towards him and kissed him. "I know you were standing in front of the door." She whispered in his ear.

"Huh? How did you know?" He asked a little shocked.

"Please Rick! Do I have to remind you that I am a detective?" She said laughing.

He started making breakfast, Kate's arms were around his waist and he felt her kissing his neck.

"I love you." She whispered and walked away before he could say anything.

* * *

**So? What do you think?**

**Xoxo AmaraLovesStana1**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi, chapter 5! I want to thank my Beta, for helping me with this chapter! I hope you guys like the chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle this is just for fun!**

* * *

**Afraid Of Your Love**

**Chapter 5- back to work**

Kate had been home for 4 four days now, but she wanted to work. She had called Gates, she was allowed to work again but she knew that she had to explain her relation end pregnancy? . She was a little afraid of what was going to happen to Rick and her at work. Would he have to leave or would Gates accept their relationship?

Rick woke up. He could feel the tension in her body. "Hey, don't be afraid sweetie. I don't care what happens today, I will always love you. And I would never leave you alone, no matter what Gates says."

He pressed her closer and kissed her softly as she muttered a reply "I'm just scared. I don't want to work without you. I want to hear all those theories of yours when we have a weird case. I want coffee every morning, but now, they'll have to be decaf." She smiled at him. Why was he so perfect? "I can't believe I'm having a kid with you. It is perfect. I have dreamed of it - every single night I dreamed we were a couple."

"So did I. Now, breakfast! You don't want to be late on your first day, huh?" Castle said kissing her again.

"No" she replied and they walked hand in hand towards the kitchen.

He grabbed the eggs and bacon from the fridge and put some toast in the toaster.

"Seriously this is delicious!" Kate moaned with her mouth full of toast.

"I am glad you like it!" Rick replied.

Kate stroke her fingers down his chest and pulled him close. "I love you Rick," she whispered and kissed him.

* * *

_At work:_

Kate took a deep breath and went to her desk, she was spotted by Esposito.

"So, she is back. We have to know what is going on." Esposito moved in her direction, followed by Ryan.

"Hi boss, so tell us what is going on. We have to know," Esposito said when she could hear him. Don't really know how to explain it.

"Okay guys I will tell you but it might be a shock," she said a bit scared looking down at her feet.

"Come on Kate, we are detectives we are used to hear shocking things," Ryan saw that she was afraid.

"Okay, look, umm… I am together with Ri- Castle. And I found out a few days ago that I was pregnant. With him," she blurted out so softly that they had to step closer to hear what she was saying.

That moment Castle came in. "A coffee for Kate."

"Thanks," Kate took the steaming cup.

"Bro! Did she just tell us that they are together and she is pregnant?!" Esposito looked at Ryan.

"Please Espo!" Kate yelled back at him.

That moment the door of Gates' office flew open and Gates asked, "Beckett can I talk to you? Now?"

Kate almost ran into Gates' office with her coffee still in her hand.

"Did I just hear that you are with Castle now and that you are pregnant?" the captain asked, looking into Kate's eyes.

"Yes sir, that is true," Kate looked at her feet, and took a sip of her coffee.

The moment she swallowed the coffee she felt sick again. She put her coffee on Gates' desk and ran towards the ladies' room. Caste saw her running and followed her. In front of the ladies' room he stopped, counted to three, and stepped in.

"Kate?" he knocked on the door.

"I'm here…" He heard her saying.

He opened the door and there she sat. He kneeled down next to her and rubbed her back. She had to throw up again and he held her hair back.

"I'm sorry Rick," she wiped her mouth and had tears in her eyes. "It is awful."

"Hey sweetie, please stop saying 'I am sorry' when you have to throw up. You can't help it and it is half my fault," he wanted to cuddle, to make her feel better, so he took her into his strong arm.

"I am so scared Rick, did you see the look on her face when she opened the door?" she said and cried with her head against his chest.

"Beckett, I think you forgot your coffee," Gates' voice filled the room.

Kate froze. She was there. "Thank you sir." Rick let her go and she took the coffee.

"I know I can be hard on my people but I act like that to keep them strong, alert. I care about all of you and yes I care about you too Castle," she said before Castle could say anything.

"I waited two years for you two to get your act together, and now you finally are, I won't break you apart. And Castle isn't really working here so I would accept it if you two act professionally when you are at the precinct or at crime scenes." Gates continued.

"Yes sir, we will," Kate replied and Gates walked away.

Kate looked up at Castle and kissed him. "Come, we should go back."

Castle had his arm around her waist, and she loved it. She saw the looks from other people in the room, and laughed.

"What's so funny?" Castle looked at her.

"Look at all the faces around us. How they look at us!" She laid her head against his shoulder.

"You said us." He kissed her hair.

"Of course I did, we are one now," she said softly. "I don't know why, but I don't care what they all think. I am not embarrassed to be seen with you, like I was in the beginning." She sat down at her desk, taking a pen and a little piece of paper.

She wrote something but he couldn't see what. She put her pen back and took her tape dispenser.

When she taped the paper on her desk he saw the letters.

Castle had tears in his eyes. He took her hand and sat down on his chair. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, I know this is a relationship that wouldn't be broken." She kissed him in front of all the people, including Gates.

On the paper stood the words: Detective Kate Beckett and Writer Richard Castle, Forever and Always.

* * *

They didn't catch a case so Gates sent them home. Kate drove to her apartment, to get some fresh clothes and to chat with Hanna.

"Hanna? I am picking up some clothes." She walked throw the kitchen but didn't see Hanna.

That moment she heard a loud moan coming from the bathroom. She ran towards the bathroom and there was Hanna, sitting on the ground with her hand on her stomach.

"Kate, the baby is coming," she moaned again.

"Ohh! Hanna! Do you have a bag that you want to take to the hospital?" she asked a little panicked. She wasn't panicked when she saw someone with a gun but a woman in labor freaked her out.

"Yes, in the bedroom is a green bag…" she couldn't finish her sentence as the contraction made her moan again.

Kate ran towards the bedroom and grabbed the bag. Then she went back to Hanna. Carefully she helped her get to her feet. They walked towards the car, Hanna leaning on Kate. Kate helped Hanna get in the car and went to the driver's seat.

She called Rick. "Hey sweetheart," she heard him say.

"Hey, I am taking Hanna to a hospital. She is in labor now," Kate said and Rick heard Hanna moaning.

"I'm on my way too! I'll see you there." He hung up.

* * *

_At the hospital:_

They took Hanna to a room, she was already far enough to give birth already. She was almost 6 hours in labor but she couldn't reach her phone.

"What is wrong sweetie?" Rick took Kate in his arms.

"I don't freak out when death is close, but with baby things…" she laid her head against his strong chest.

"yes, when you can't control the situation you freak out." He kissed her and they walked towards the waiting room.

Kate was tired, she hadn't slept well last night. She kept thinking about what Gates had said to them. Did she really accept them? Or was she just pretending to accept it? She didn't know, but it made her crazy.

Rick could see her stress, and he stood up and took her hand. Together they walked to the couch. They sat down and Rick took Kate in his arms. She breathed his smell, she felt his chest moving under her head. He made her calm, so much so that she felt even more tired and fell asleep in his arms on the yellow couch.

She didn't know how long she slept but Rick woke her up. "Sweetie? Hanna has a perfect healthy little girl," he whispered in her ear.

She looked up at him and smiled. "Can I visit her?"

"Yes, I already did. You were asleep and Hanna was going to kill me if I woke you up." He kissed her and they walked in silent towards Hanna's room.

"Hey Kate!" Hanna said happily. There was a little baby girl lying on her chest.

"Ohh! So cute! What is her name?" Kate asked and walked to Hanna.

"Nataly, my little baby girl!" Hanna gave Nataly to Kate.

A little scared Kate took the baby in her arms. "Hi Nataly, I am Kate. I am a friend of your mother's," she told the little girl.

That moment Nataly started to cry and Kate started to walk around in the room. After five minutes Nataly was quiet again, looking at everything. Kate went back to Hanna and gave Nataly back.

Rick watched Kate when she was caring Nataly around. She would be a great mother.

"Kate, go home. You look exhausted." Hanna looked at Kate, her body was already asleep waiting for her mind to join it.

"But…" Kate tried but Hanna looked at Kate with one of her looks. "Okay…"

Rick took Kate's hand and said good night to Hanna, Kate just nodding. He almost had to carry her towards the car. When she sat on her seat she fell asleep. Rick smiled at her, she was so beautiful.

He drove to his apartment, this time he didn't want to wake her up. He stepped out of the car and walked towards Kate's side. He opened the door and carried her in bridal style to the elevator, through the hall and pushed on the bell.

"Dad, where were you? I called your phone but you didn't pick up." Alexis saw Kate sleeping in his arms. "Ohh…"

"I'll explain later. First I have to put Kate in bed," he said and walked towards the bedroom.

Alexis opened the door and Rick walked in, still carrying Kate. Gently he laid her down at the bed and started to pull off her clothes.

"Castle…" she moaned.

"Shhhh, just go back to sleep." He grabbed one of his shirts and carefully he put it on.

He laid her down in the bed and tugged her in. Then he walked into the living room to face Alexis and his mother.

"Now, explanation please." Alexis yawned.

"Kate was picking up some fresh clothes and then she found Hanna in labor. So she drove with her to the hospital and I went to the hospital too. Then Kate fell asleep, later we went to Hanna and her baby," Rick blurted out. "Now I want to sleep. I'm exhausted."

He walked step by step to the bedroom and fell asleep next to Kate, with his arm around her and his face against her back.

* * *

_The next morning:_

Kate woke up in an empty bed. She looked at the nightstand to see the time but the alarm clock was gone. Where was it? She had to know the time. She smelled something delicious. Quickly she walked towards the kitchen, where Alexis, Martha and Rick were waiting.

"Darling! How are you?" Martha hugged Kate.

"I am fine. What is the time?" she asked.

"Around one," Alexis replied.

"What! Work, I need to work today!" she practically screamed.

"No you don't have to. I called work and told them we took the day off." Rick kissed her good morning.

"Ohh… Okay. What are you cooking? I am starving!" She looked in the pan. "Macaroni!"

"Special for you." He kissed her again.

She looked at him and he swore, he saw those lights in her eyes again.

"How did I get into bed?" she asked. "The only thing I remember is falling asleep in the car."

"Dad was a gentleman. He carried you up to the loft and put you to bed." Alexis looked at the couple.

Kate smiled at him, which was enough for Rick.

"Why are you at home? I mean, you should be at school right?" Kate turned towards Alexis.

"Yes, but a lot of teachers are sick today. So I have to be at school in an hour and I am free at four." Alexis looked at Kate, understanding why her dad loved that woman.

Kate winked at her and said, "I should dress up a bit." She walked into the bedroom and grabbed some fresh clothes.

"Lunch is ready!" Rick called.

Kate walked back to the kitchen and they all sat down at the table. He put the pan full of macaroni on the table and gave everyone enough for the whole day.

"Can we visit Hanna again?" Kate asked and ate some of her macaroni. "This is amazing! I love it!"

"Sure," Rick pulled her in for a long slow kiss.

"UGGG! I don't want to interrupt but please just go to the bedroom!" Alexis said laughing.

Kate turned red and Rick just smiled at Alexis.

"Maybe a good idea!" Rick looked at Alexis with a grin.

Alexis eyes grew wide, "Go ahead, I am out!" Her cheeks were red when she stood up. "The food was delicious." She kissed Castle goodbye and hugged Martha. "Bye!"

"I should go too." Martha said with a grin and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Rick asked.

"Just… Ehh… Shopping!" And Martha was gone.

"Okay…." Rick looked at Kate, her head still red of shame. "Haha! Please, you aren't going to tell me that you are ashamed!"

"A little… But it could be worse!" She laughed and kissed him again.

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**So? What do you think? Really bad, normal or good? I would love to get some reviews! I'm sorry if there are some mistakes that I didn't erase.**

**Xoxo AmaraLovesStana1 **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, this is just for fun.**

**A/N: I have to thank my sister for this chapter! I love you! Sorry for not posting I have a test week so I have to study a lot. **

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**Warning: After the second line break there are mentions of rape. Don't like? Don't read. **

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**Afraid Of Your Love**

Chapter 6 – A big surprise

She had never felt so nervous ever before and she hated the feeling of it. The nerves made her knees weak and made them shake uncontrollably. With her hand securely in placed in Richard's they were standing in front of the hospital doors. She was never someone who doubted herself, but now she needed some time to prepare her for what was coming.

"Are you ready?" Came the sweet voice of the man at her side.

"Yes… No… I don't know, Castle."

Placing her other hand on her tummy she tried to suppress the nerves.

"It's gonna be okay honey. You're going to be fine."

It was amazing what a calming effect his voice had on her. The soft low tones comforted her immediately and she squeezed his hand lightly before letting it go.

"I know, let's go."

The first steps were still a little hesitant, but the closer she came to the doors, the more sure she became. She wanted to know her baby was healthy. She needed that reassurance.

They walked to the floor they needed to be, both her arms hanging by her sides. As hard as she tried to stop her hands from shaking, making fists hadn't helped a bit. She knew Richards hand in hers would help it, but she didn't want him to know how nervous she was. She was a strong woman who hid her true feelings, and although she wanted to, she knew that hiding her feelings from Rick wasn't necessary. He would find out anyway.

With an emotionless expression on her face she sat down in the chair in the waiting room. Gabbing a magazine she started reading.

Next to her Richard was quiet too, his eyes fixated on something in the distance. He was deep in thought, and Kate wanted to know what he was thinking about.

What if the baby wasn't healthy? What would they do? Could she even handle that, or Castle? All the unanswered questions clouded her brain. They should have talked about this, or at least be prepared just a little. The words of the magazine in her hands were vague because she was unable to concentrate on what they said.

What if there was something really wrong…

No, Kate. Don't think like that! It's gonna be alright. She told herself. She knew it did nothing to calm her nerves, but it was better than nothing.

She tapped her foot on the floor, still deep in thought when she saw Castle stand up in the corner of her eyes. She looked at him confused.

"It's your turn, Kate." He extended his hand, offering it for her to grab it. But she ignored it, she was perfectly capable to stand up by herself.

She had totally missed her name being called, and she felt slightly embarrassed.

"I'm coming." She said while standing up.

Following the doctor into the room she intertwined her fingers with Richards again, needing the contact.

"Hello, my name is doctor Fox and I will do your ultrasound today."

The woman was short, and had short blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail on top of her head. She shook both of their hands and pointed to the table.

"You can lie down there miss Becket, and you," Turning towards Castle, "Can take place into that chair."

"Thank you." He answered her since Kate still hadn't said a word.

She laid down on the hard table, one arm under her head, the other was grabbed by Richard to hold her hand again.

"Please pull up your shirt so I can start." The doctor said with a smile on her face. "Is this your first?"

"Yes." Kate said, unable to form full sentences.

She had been nervous before, but it was far worse now. In a few moments she would hear her baby's heartbeat. _If there would be one._

"This can be a little cold." The doctor warns before she puts some gel on Kate's stomach.

"Are you nervous?" She ask no one in particular.

Kate nods. When the doctor places the device on her belly she silently gasps. The moment of truth his finally here.

"We will be able to hear it's heartbeat in a few seconds."

Doctor Fox moves it around a little more. When she is happy with the position it is in, she turns up the volume.

A soft beating fills the room. She feels Richard squeeze her hand so hard it almost hurts. Her eyes tear up. Her baby has a heartbeat, a fast one, but it is a heartbeat. A tear makes its way down her cheek, and she quickly wipes it away. Next to her she hears a sniff.

"Wait a minute." The doctors voice pierces through her happiness.

_Oh no… please no…_

"What's wrong?" She asks in a panicked voice. All the relieve she felt just a moment ago is replaced with fear.

"I'm not sure. I need to ask someone else to check. You can wait here." With those words doctor Fox stands up and leaves the room, leaving them behind.

"What is happening?" Tears are now streaming down her face quickly. She is not capable to hold them in anymore.

"She needs another doctor! Why?" She is truly panicking now.

"Hey, Kate. It's probably nothing. She just needs someone to check something." Castle tries to comfort her, but it isn't working.

The door opens again and doctor Fox and another woman walk in. she introduces herself, but Kate doesn't hear a thing, too busy to notice her surroundings.

When she feels pressure on her tummy again, she closes her eyes. she doesn't want to see the reactions on both the doctors faces. It's now her turn to squeeze Richards hand to dust. She hears him wince a little, but he says nothing.

That's the last thing she hears before she blacks out.

* * *

When she opens her eyes again she is still in the hospital room. The other doctor is gone and only doctor Fox and Castle are in the room.

"Kate! Are you okay?" Ricks voice is soft and concerned. "You fainted." He adds.

"What is wrong with my baby?" She wants to know. She _needs _to know.

"Nothing is wrong, honey. You passed out before they could tell you." Castle smiles broadly. "We are gonna have twins!"

It takes some time before she fully realizes what he just said.

"Two… Baby's..?" She utters.

"Yes! There are two baby's in that wonderful belly of yours!" His happiness radiates of him. "I am the most lucky man on earth."

Twins? It's so unexpected she needs a little time to process it all. Two children… two.

Richard keeps rattling on, and she turns towards the doctor.

"I'm gonna have two baby's?" She asks softly.

"Yes you are. Congratulations!" The blonde haired woman smiles genuinely.

"Both they're hearts are beating, so for as far as we can see now, there both healthy."

Hearing the conformation from the doctor she finally lets it sink in. A smile breaks through on her lips and she feels more tears run down her face. This time they are tears of happiness. She returns her gaze towards Rick. The smile he has on his face is priceless. He truly looks like the most happy man on earth.

Although two baby's would mean a lot more trouble. Two beds, twice as much of everything. But now the bliss is over shining that all. They are gonna be a family of five.

The doctor hands here a photo of the ultrasound. A photo of the two children that are growing inside her. She runs her finger over the picture. She doesn't really know what she is looking at, but that doesn't matter.

She shakes the hand of the doctor and both of them leave the room. A permanent smile is plastered on their faces. She wants to show the world how happy she is at the moment, not caring of what everybody thinks.

Castle, being himself, is practically jumping around. Normally she is annoyed by his childish acts, but now she couldn't care less. Due to herself control she holds it in, but she wants to jump around and scream it from the rooftops as well.

The ride home is quiet, both of them still processing the new information. Her hand covers Ricks, needing the contact as much as he does.

She leans back into the car seat, unconsciously placing her free hand on her stomach. She isn't showing yet, but she knows they're in there, and this simple act is coming natural to her. Only now feeling how tired she is she closed her eyes and drifts away, being rocked into sleep by the moving of the car and the sounds of Ricks breaths.

* * *

_She was hidden from view by a few dumpsters. She leaned against the relentless brick wall, breathing heavy. She felt filthy and used. _

_She could still feel his hands on her skin. Her skirt had been torn apart, leaving her exposed and vulnerable. His taste was still evident on her lips and she felt the urge to throw up. Her abdomen hurt, and her muscles were sore._

_Bruises and cuts were visible on her arms and upper body. Bleeding through the remains of her shirt and bra. _

_He had come out of nothing, suddenly appearing behind her, grabbing her by her waist and shoving her against the wall. He had muffled her screams with his hand. His other hand was pulling his pants down._

_She had tried to fight him off, but he was strong. Too strong for her. And when he had pulled out a knife, she knew she was defenseless. _

_They had warned her about this neighborhood, but as always she hadn't listened and did what she wanted. Tears streamed down her checks. She tried to stand up, but a wave of nausea brought her back on her knees. Doubling over she threw up on the street._

_The pain in her side got worse. She slowly lifted her shirt up as high as she could. She gasped. A deep cut was placed right under her ribs. Blood seeped out, showing no sign of stopping soon._

_She needed help._

_She stood up again. This time she could walk a few steps forward towards the street before her knees gave in and she fell again. The hard stones from the alley welcomed her, but she wasn't wanting to give up yet. _

_Building up her courage, she rose on her feet again. Holding her balance while she leaned against the wall she walked another few small steps. _

_She was so tired. All she could think about was lying down and falling asleep to never wake up again. But she wasn't someone who gave up quickly. She could not let that man win. Never._

_The soft yellow light of the street lamp came closer. She could hear a car drive by and a few people talking. She was almost there._

_Just a few steps more._

_Her steps faltered and she almost tripped over. She could barely walk but she was __determined to reach the end of the alley. She needed to get out of this place, back to humanity, back to safety. _

_To a hospital._

_She pressed her hand against her injured side. When she retracted it she saw dark blood dripping of her fingers. This was not good. She didn't really feel the pain, but she knew that this much blood could never mean any good._

_With one last step she now stood in the glow of the lamp. Confused she looked around. Her eyes darted around and she had no clue where she was. The street was dark, only a few windows were lighted. _

_Feeling the pain in her side intensify, she felt her knees give in again._

"_Ma'am! Are you alright?" _

_The voice sounded far away. She lifted her head to look around and saw somebody walk towards her._

"_No, no… leave me alone!" She shouted, immediately feeling pain overcome her. _

_She walked backwards, her eyes fixated on the person in front of her. _

"_Do you need help?" It was a woman's voice that spoke to her._

_She felt herself relax just a little bit. That woman wanted to help her, she couldn't mean any harm right?_

"_I- I…" Was all she could get out before her vision blurred._

_She heard the woman rush towards her, but she was too late. Her head collided on the street. _

_An intense pain shot through her skull._

_This was it. She was gonna die here, on the street. _

_The woman called her, softly shaking her, but she was too tired to react. A feeling of peace overcame her. it was okay. She could sleep now._

_Finally…_

_That was the last thing she thought before she closed her eyes._

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**I hope you like it! Please review and let me know what you think! **

**Xoxo Me **


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